Sorry about the lack of posts

Yeah. I got the World of Warcraft expansion pack. It ate my life.

So now, instead of giving you something creative, I’m going to rant endlessly about.

It’s REALLY, REALLY COOL. Seriously, if you have World of Warcraft, BUY THE EXPANSION. NOW. It’s got eleven new zones (four of which are the low-level draenei and blood elf zones), and a bunch of AWESOMENESS. The seven new zones that aren’t lowbie zones are in Outland, a huge chunk of land floating in nothingness. Now, I have a HUGE love of huge chunks of land floating in nothingness. They’re just so awesome.

Of course, it helps that every zone in outland shows a completely different design philosophy from the old game. For one, they’re all bloody MASSIVE. In the original WoW, you’d get a zone with maybe 2 big quest hubs, tops. One for alliance, one for horde. Or maybe just one neutral one. In Hellfire Peninsula, the first Outland zone, there’s two big horde quest hubs, two big alliance quest hubs, and a TON of small outposts scattered around the place.

Also, the scenery. My god, the scenery. Zangarmarsh (the second outland zone) has to rank pretty high on my list of most amazing things seen ever. It’s like, a marsh… but with giant mushrooms instead of trees. And giant spore-things flying everywhere.

Giant spore-thing. Probably Copyright Blizzard Entertainment or something. Please don’t sue me, Blizzard. It would make me sad.

Yeah, so… giant spore-things=awesome. Also, there’s an entire sentient race of beings called Sporelings. Not only are they purple with little orange lumps, they also say hilarious things such as “You’re so much scarier and better armed than us.” What’s not to love?

And the plotlines! So much more involved than in the original game. It’s still “go there, kill this” but hey, who cares? I get to kill spore-things! Also, a new type of quest has emerged: bombing runs. You get to bomb things (usually demons). It’s completely SWEET.

In Zangarmarsh, there’s a big troll city called Zabra’jin. It’s really cool, because trolls are awesome. There’s also a draenei city called Telredor (ON TOP OF A GIANT MUSHROOM), but I don’t get to go there because I’m an orc. Originally I was really pissed at Blizzard for giving the ALLIANCE a city on top of a mushroom, but that faded once I beheld Zabra’jin (which is seriously pretty cool).

I do, however, think they could have done a lot more with Zangarmarsh. Sure, Telredor is on top of a giant mushroom, but why stop at that? Make a massive zone with two areas: the under-area, filled with stupid degenerated draenei or something (I’ll never stop loving all the various forms the draenei have taken. Seriously, from the original Eredar race sprung the Eredar (huge demons), the Draenei (big blue paladin guys), the Broken (slightly hunched, shorter, less noble draenei who are usually enslaved), and the Lost Ones (drastically mutated, very short, barely even recognizable as draenei). It’s awesome. God, this is a huge parenthesis.), and a mushroom-top zone, complete with bridges between shrooms, inhabited by flying sentient species that are master predators.

Yeah. So, in conclusion, GET THE DAMN EXPANSION. Sell your children if you must. That is all.


Flash Series Idea

Yeah.  I’m not sure where this idea came to me.  It’s a bit less weird than my last idea (which was completely apeshit crazy) but still maintains oddness.  It’d be comedy, of course, as I am incapable of writing not comedy.  Plus, when was the last time you saw a drama series in flash?  It doesn’t happen.

The concept of my flash series idea is this: It’s at a school, and weird things happen.  The humor would be mainly character-based, seeing as the concept is weak as hell.  Forunately, I’ve thought up some interesting characters, thus making it not suck.

Steve: Steve is the main character.  He’s smart, but bitter, cynical, and sarcastic.

Janis:  Steve’s best friend.  He’s not as smart as Steve, but he’s nice and has a good sense of humor.  His name is pronounced “Yanis”, and if anybody calls him Janice, he will fly into an uncontrollable rage and mutilate them horribly.  This horrible mutilation is, for some reason, always temporary, and the mutilated characters come back next episode.

Greg the Perve: The third friend in the group of friends.  He doesn’t say much, and when he does, it’s usually sexual innuendo.  He can see a double entendre in everything.  Yes, everything.

Sarah:  A girl who is not based on anyone I know in any way at all.  She’s liked by basically every guy in the school, and is constantly pestered by the three friends.  She’s friends with Steve and kind of likes Janis, but she is (understandably) vaguely frightened by Greg.

Mr. Bich: A teacher, and one of the asshole ones.  Although his name is pronounced “Bic”, he is called “Mr. Bitch” by his students behind his back.  It is revealed later in the series that his first name is “Niger”, pronounced “Ni-hair”.

Tom: A bully, with the intellect of wood. Constantly taunts the three friends, and is also constantly counter-taunted by them.  Often is mutilated by Janis.

The Idiots:  Tom’s followers, with intellects of wood with heavy termite damage.  Usually just chuckle while Tom insults people.

Das Schabereich:  Roughly translated, this means “The Cockroach-Empire”.  Literally translated, it means “The Scrapers-Calibrate”.  Crazy germans.  Das Schabereich are a group of nazi cockroaches bent on world domination… but they figure the school is a good place to start.  They speak in badly mutilated german-english, and the plot usually hingedon them attempting to take over the school.

Oberleutnant Zelig: The leader of Das Schabereich.  Constantly hatches bizzare plans, most of which don’t work, and don’t even have a chance of working.

The Cat:  A stray cat who wandered into the school at some point and decided to stay there.  Spends most of its time attempting to eat Oberleutnant Zelig.

That’s it so far.  Without Das Schabereich, it’d be pretty boring.  But Nazi cockroaches are always fun.  Input would be appreciated.

Continuing on the RTS idea thing

Yeah. I haven’t posted in a few days, mostly because I’ve been busy slacking off. I’m good at slacking off. It’s a talent of mine.

In this post, I will address how the various factions will work in actual gameplay.

So. First, let’s talk about the Sancterian Empire. I envision the Sancterian Empire being the boring faction. There’s always a boring faction, and most of the time, it’s the one with the humans. It’s the start place from which every other faction is defined. Some factions will be stronger than the Sancterian Empire in certain areas, some weaker. The Sancterian Empire is pretty much the middle-ground of everything; everything they have is roughly average, not too amazing and not too shitty.

The Dwarven Empire is next. If you’re fighting dwarves, you definately don’t want to let them attack you before you attack them. This is because they’re masterful at siege weapons. If they attack your base, and they’re smart, your base will die. If you attack them first… siege weapons aren’t much use against non-buildings. The perfect strategy for a dwarven player would be to build up a strong infantry in the early game, then, when you get access to siege weapons, get a few really powerful siege weapons, and attack. Your infantry will deal with the enemy units, and while they’re busy being slaughtered, your siege weapons wreak havoc upon the enemy base. Perfect strategy, although it hinges upon your opponent not rushing you.

The Minotaur Tribes. A perfect strategy for a minotaur player would be to get cavalry as soon as possible, and rush the opponent with it, prefferably while they’re still predominantely using infantry. While minotaur infantry units are very strong, they’re also rather costly, as minotaurs eat a shitload, and minotaur weapons have to be big. Their cavalry units are faster, stronger, and all around better, so more cavalry means more pwnage. Minotaurs should also have, later in the game, a sort of spiritualist type unit, with the ability to heal the other units. This is because the whole spiritualist thing just kinda fits with the minotaurs. It works.

I’m not entirely sure what the Kingdom of Avinar will play like – I just don’t have any really good ideas. They’d be more technologically advanced than the other factions, so one of their later units may have access to gunpowder. Or maybe two – one that rides a camel (cause camels are awesome) and has a gun, and the other that has a keg of gunpowder strapped to its back and runs into buildings and explodes. Since they’re based on the egyptians as well as the chinese, we need to stick some egyptian-ness in there too. Maybe they build monuments to their gods, and those monuments give them various blessings. Like, while a monument to their god of war is standing, all the units get strength bonuses, and while the monument to their god of plenty is standing, their villagers gather food faster. This would lead to some interesting strategies, such as hiding a monument in an obscure place on the map to prevent the opposing factions from destroying it, thus providing your units with a constant buff. Perhaps some of the more powerful units later in the game could require a monument to a certain god standing before they could be created.

I left the Serpentborn for last on purpose: they’re complicated. You remember how I talked earlier about a sacrifice system? Yeah, I’m gonna talk about that. It might take a while.

Sacrifices would require three things: a sacrificial altar, a priest to do the dirty work, and a captive. A sacrificial altar could be built just like any other building. A priest could be trained at a temple; most likely the temple would be required to be built before the building of the altar as well. The captives is where things get complicated. We need a system for capturing enemy units, and we need it to not be to overcomplicated. Simplicity is good.

I think that there should be a specific unit for capturing enemies, I’m not sure what the name would be, but it’d basically be a lizardman with a spear and a net. This unit would have some combat capabilities, but its main purpose would be capturing enemy units. After the enemy unit reaches a certain percentage of health (around 30%, maybe) the capture unit can succesfully capture it. Afterwards, they would drag them back to their base, to store them in some sort of cage, awaiting sacrifice. The opposing player would lose the line of sight of any captured unit, because logically, if you’ve just been captured by the enemy, you probably aren’t reporting back to your general.

Capture units would have a capacity of one prisoner each, so as to prevent two things: 1) griefing and 2) realist bitches. Realist bitches are the kind of people that whine on forums about how something shouldn’t be able to do something it does because of some minor physics error (fuck you, newton) while playing a game full of magic, dragons, minotaurs, lizardmen, and did I mention magic?

Sometime in the later game, you would likely be able to get a slave cart of some sort, that would act as a portable depository for prisoners. It would most likely be able to carry somewhere from six to ten prisoners, but it would move slowly. If the enemy destroyed the cart or killed the capture unit, they would get their units back.

Using a unit like this would lead to some interesting strategies. If it was available early in the game, many Serpentborn players would utilize small raiding parties, a few infantry units and one or two capture units to go seize enemy villagers.

Once they were back in the lizardbase, in the cage, the prisoners would simply be used as another resource, albeit one that could be stolen by the enemy if they destroyed the cages. The priest would go up to the altar, you’d click a button, and a few seconds of random chanting later, you’ve got a weird otherworldly unit summoned by a bizarre ritual. Congratulations. Alternatively, you could sacrifice prisoners to buff your current, this-world units. This would require all the units you want to buff to gather around the altar, and roughly the same procedure would take place.

Obviously, different units would be worth different sacrificial “amounts.” A heavy infantry unit would be worth more than a capture peon, for example.

I think at least one of the campaigns available in the game would hinge heavily on the Serpentborn’s habit of sacrificing people; most likely there would be missions to free prisoners from groups of slave carts traveling along an easily-ambushable path, or to disrupt a Serpentborn ritual. The end mission of the campaign would probably involve ransacking Vassanar to prevent a massive amount of prisoners from being sacrificed in order to bring the Serpentborn’s evil and only vaguely pronounceable god into the world.

That would be enough for today. I’ll see you again whenever I feel like posting.

The Trinity Cometh

So, me and some friend have formed a blog trinity. The other two members are down on my blogroll.

As the first official project, we’re combining my world and my friend’s world into one. I suggest you read both his post about his world and my other friend’s post introducing the concept of fusing them.

So. In this post, I will outline the geography of my world, only now with colors, so as to meld more satisfactorially with the other world.

Assuming you’ve read both those posts I just told you to, the rest of this post will make sense. If you haven’t, you’ll be lost, but it’ll be your fault, so it’s not my problem.

This is the fused world, plus geography:

Okay. I’ve introduced two new colors in this one, so: the dark shit-green color is swamp, the pale green is temperate woodland.

Now, we’ve got one problem. Namely, the worlds don’t really coincide perfectly. Griffin’s world has cold steppe right next to my world’s desert. There are four ways to get around this:

  1. Fuck realism. This is kind of a bad idea, as both my and Griffin’s world are built around realism.
  2. Fundamentally change the geography of either my or Griffin’s world. Not likely. I’m rather attached to my Jography.
  3. Flip Grif’s world, stick a large amount of jungle between my south and his new north. This might work, but it also might not, or it might be too much work.
  4. Stick Grif’s world over to the west, and make it so that the two worlds are both on the same hemisphere. This is the most likely logical idea. It migh also require a mirroring of Grif’s world, because it’d just look better that way.

I’m sure most of that made sense when it started out in my head. Hopefully you’ll be able to comprehend most of it.

I’m done with world building for now.

Yeah. I’m gonna stop with this project for now. I might do a few posts on how the various factions work, but the world is essentially built.

Oh, and by the way… HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!